|
Sunday, 23 November 2008 18:04 |
|
Please ignore and stop reading the moment you feel offended. This spoof-dictionary does not apply to every known members of the respected political party. It also does not apply to the any respected race in general;- just zooming into a small fractions of people that could possibly be included in these shallow definitions.
To understand most of these definitions, you have to have a deep-understanding of the socio-political culture of Malaysia.
Please feel free to contribute your own definitions. I plan to include a larger database of DicktionUMNOry definitions to be released on later parts. You can write in your contribution by leaving it in the comment section
____________________________________________
DicktionUMNOry (Part 1) *
AGENT- A third party Malay who act as a middle person to introduce someone to buy/takeover government projects held by someone in proximity for a quick payment in form of 'commissions'.
ARBITRAGE- Profiting from the difference of contracts value obtained from the government and the value sold in different markets (to developer, traders, contractors, subcontractors or investors). Detrimental value of the project is done through value-skimming by profiting various hands passing down in the hierarchy of sub-contraction.
BANK- Financial institution to help ineffective companies to do ineffective projects so that certain sum of cash flow derived from the projects can be extinguished under transaction.
BAILOUT- An act of disposing country's funds to rescue faltering businesses that are in proximity to the government in power.
BUSINESS- A short term activity targeted to accumulate wealth as quick as possible; It is best done by just signing documents.-: Also defined as an activity to be done in the toilet.
COMMUNIST- Any Chinese who're not pro-BN government.
CORRUPTION- Excess cash-flow in the business system that is rightfully extractable by the executive powers in the government. This is done under the influence of power and shall not be seen as a wrongdoing.
CRONY- An important by-stander in proximity to any government officials who has the ability to execute government projects under the shade of political protection.
DEMOCRACY- An imaginary system of 'Check and Balance' that involve the majority of elected members of the society voted into Parliament to take on Absolute Power unopposed.
EXECUTIVE - UMNO and anyone in close proximity to UMNO.
ECONOMY - National business activities under the control of government.
FIXED COST- A cost that's associated with detrimental amount of payment compulsory paid to any Bumiputra who holds the government project title.
FREE MARKET- Imaginary Market manipulated by the government.
GET RICH SCHEME- A wonderful and fabulous way of making money in the shortest time possible with very sophisticated investing methodology that does not require any thinking or productivity.
GOVERNMENT CONTRACT- A product held by government to be sold by Malay holders so that they can profit from a sum of sales without working on it.
GOVERNMENT PROJECT- Planned set of interrelated tasks to be briefly proposed by the government officials who had hidden interest in them; and then be sold and executed in the market by the officials' proxies.
JUDICIARY - The system of law courts that administer justice in the preference of the government executive.
LEGISLATIVE - A puppetry show in Parliament to pass any Laws under the hand of the Majority.
OPPOSITION - Imaginary members of the Parliament or State Assembly.
OWNER'S EQUITY- Free product issued for Malays in close proximity with government officials to take up ownership of 30% shares in any listed companies. They can sit back and relax by collecting company fees or to sell off their 30% shares to rake in more income.
POVERTY- A classification in the society measured to conclude which 'race' should get economical privileges.
POWER - An ability to use one's stature and influence to oppress and gather wealth from others.
PROTECTIONISM- A method to help Ineffective Companies associated with the government officials to stay alive in the market by skimming competition.
RACE - Malay, Chinese or Indian.
REFORM - A threat to Malay rights that shouldn't be implemented.
SEPARATION OF POWERS - A fundamental principle of the government, whereby powers and responsibilities are divided among the legislative (Parliament), executive (Elected Powers) and judicial (Justice) branch. However, the officials in the executive branch have the universal power to control all three branches.
TAKEOVER- An act of merging faltering businesses and good performance corporations to reduce competitions and strengthen financial system in the market so that certain sums upon signing the mergers can be extracted by the privy in power. It is also an act of rescuing hopeless corporations.
VOTE - An action done during election which leads to 'only one choice'.
WORK- Ability to lift up a pen and sign documents. Reading ability is optional. http://ckgord.blogspot.com * DicktionUMNOry is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real scenario, any persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. No warranty expressed or implied upon using any of the definitions as listed. For recreational use only.
 |
The Blogs 
C4 - a common variety of military plastic explosive. Can be used as a noun or verb. Past tense and past participle - C4ed
Illustration is given below: