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Oh Guruji, ke mana kau pergi? PDF Print
Thursday, 16 October 2008 10:37

Life would have been a lot safer for some people if Alexander Graham Bell had never invented that thing called the telephone. And if no one had come up with this modern day thing everyone calls the sms.

Najib and Shafee would agree.

Najib as good as admitted that the sms’s are for real when he said they were a private matter. In that process he fucked the fix-it-if-the-price-is-right hotshot lawyer as well. Now this Shaf-ted lawyer does not know where to hide his face. He’s told those who are still prepared to be seen with him that he’s not going to answer any more calls from dungu Najib.

Najib doesn’t give a fuck about losing this overpriced shyster, though. No, he’s got other things to worry about.

Sure, Badawi has announced that come March next year, he’s going to hand over the prime minister’s job to Najib. But Najib’s boys have reported back to him that Badawi’s not finished with Najib yet. No, Badawi is not to be trusted. Najib’s boys have picked up a strong scent of Najib’s dirt that Badawi’s boys are unleashing, bit by bit, so that come March Najib will be history.

Actually, Badawi’s announcement that he would not run for president of UMNO in March and would hand over the prime minister’s job to Najib then shocked his inner circle of friends and business cronies, including Kali-M- Ular, Kee Yong Wee and Idris, all of whom had seen Badawi just days before and had persuaded Badawi to stay on and fight. Well, they thought they had persuaded Badawi.

Actually they had. And Badawi had said he would fight. But as has happened many times of late, every time Badawi meets up with Najib with the intention of telling Najib that he can dream about ever becoming prime minister, Badawi seems to chicken out. And people have begun to ask whether this is because Najib’s dirt on Badawi is more potent than the dirt that Badawi has on Najib.

Actually that potent thing that Najib had over Badawi was this fella called Guruji who has now gone AWOL.

No, Najib’s not worried that the Shaf-ted one won’t take his calls or that Badawi’s boys are going to let loose all the dirt they have on him. But Najib’s really shit-scared now because he needs Guruji to work his magic for him and neutralize all his enemies.

Who’s Guruji?

Remember just before polling day in Permatang Pauh, Malaysia Today broke the story of Najib being ‘Muslim by birth, Hindu in practise ’, complete with the statutory declaration of Thagarajoo a/l Thangavelu, detailing out how both Najib and Rosmah were faithfully partaking in Hindu rituals?

Guruji is the ‘Mr Ji’ mentioned in Thagarajoo’s sd.

Yes, Guruji, Najib’s faith healer, spiritual leader and voodoo master, is nowhere to be found. He’s been packed off back to Chennai in India and Najib’s only just found out that all the hexes, spells and charms that Guruji cast on Badawi and several others  were broken when Guruji crossed over the Indian Ocean enroute to Chennai.

Turns out that Guruji’s own sifu in Chennai found out that his protégé was abusing the powers that sifu had imparted and had summoned Guruji back. Guruji left without a word to Najib or Rosmah.

Actually, Guruji couldn’t have said a word to Najib or Rosmah before leaving. He doesn’t speak a word of English or Malay and neither of them speak Tamil. And so they’ve always had to communicate with the aid of intermediaries.

One of those intermediaries is Kenneth Eswaran, who’s already mentioned of in Thagarajoo’s sd.

The other, a woman, is very close to Rosmah.

Actually, it was Rosmah who first sought the services of Guruji. She told close friends that her nasi kangkang was no longer having the desired effect on Najib and C4 is not always readily available. However, both Rosmah and Najib are now so obsessed with Guruji’s powers and will not make any major decisions without first consulting him and getting him to work his magic. Until Guruji disappeared, not a single day went by when Najib and Rosmah were not in contact with Guruji through the intermediaries.

Now how do you suppose they kept in constant contact with Guruji?

You guessed it! That thing called the telephone!

Lots and lots of phones! Lots and lots of calls! And lots and lots of sms’s!

Okay, here’s the deal. I’ll match each little bit of dirt on Najib that Badawi’s boys roll out with a little bit of detail of my own.

ALSO READ: Najib: Muslim by birth, Hindu by practice


Comments (49)Add Comment
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written by sam65, October 16, 2008 11:01:34
Ha ha ha.....Najib better watch what he eats???!!!! ......if not, kena nasi kangkang again smilies/cheesy.gif

Pak Lah was really a pretty nice guy b4 he become PM and then lost both his mother and wife. Anyone would go thru some sort of a depression and guess how his aides like Najib and gang took advantage of the situation. Well it pay back time.

What a delight to see Pak Lah figthing back, probably the best legacy he'll achieve and the best lesson he's going to teach UMNO in his final 5 months a the PM.
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written by tuahjebat, October 16, 2008 11:08:10
Guruji sudah kena Gergaji. Rospork nasi kangkang she forgot to add some kangkong. Thats why no effect.
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written by arazak, October 16, 2008 11:24:43
Is he going to say, "this is a personal matter" again?

And. . . , is he going to swear in the Mosque again to deny this allegation?
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written by Janaka, October 16, 2008 11:30:27
Perhaps quietly been ISAed in the hellyCAGE by BOTAK for security reason. hahahaha smilies/smiley.gif
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written by shan, October 16, 2008 11:33:53
[deleted - pix too large, messing up the page: admin-ks]
I found him here at his new job
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written by Sunnysoul5, October 16, 2008 11:40:35
If this is true, why are the warlords in UMNO and Malaysian politicians supporting him to be President and possibly Prime Minister? What will hte world think of Malaysia? Can we not have a better person to lead this country?

ABB must do something great to leave behind a lasting and positive legacy but doing the right thing. As a PM he is duti-bound to find a credible person to succeed him, if BN can still be in power in March 2009.

It is really worrying to have someone with so much of baggages and controversies to become the PM.

Surely God is fair and great.
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written by Dongra Dude, October 16, 2008 11:50:25
Najis forgot the correct Mantras to be used. He has been repeating the wrong Mantaras like P.Ramlee Film Ali Baba Bujang Lapok. Thats why Guru Ji's Mantara's didn't work for Najis and back fired his attempts. Check his body has any Talimen given by MR.Ji. Najis you better get Orang Asli Bomoh at Pekan to counter the bad omen happening on you now.
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written by malgal, October 16, 2008 12:10:48

Cross cultural! Practitioner of Multiculturalism!
And muttering another dialect not your own, always endears one at ceramahs.
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written by NSTPravda, October 16, 2008 12:15:04
Let me assure you that I, Najeep, Pee M to be
That I have the best of all UMNO’s integrity
I have already sworn piously on the Holy Book
Surely I am better looking than a simple crook

In the interest of pacifying all the Kelings
I have done the ceremonial Hindu thing
You can't fault a man wanting to cover all his bases
When one has to answer to all these criminal cases

Insyallah,

I am answerable only to Allah and Almighty Rosmah
So why you people bring up this Altantuya and that Bala
Can’t a person quietly enjoy the fruits of his crime labour?
Why bother me with trivialities as I am your anointed leader

‘tis all lies that I actually abuse or misuse any power
It’s treason to utter that against an UMNO designated leader
The power is there for me to exercise solely at my pleasure
What's wrong in using what I am about to own at my leisure?

Let me give these critics my very strong advice
Exercise you freedom gently, you should treat me nice
Else, I can show you what I have allegedly done before
You may be inviting a demonstration of your very own C4

I can fix you individually with a case of Sodomy
A Saiful clone can be brought in to protect me
So what, if I make a few billion bucks on the deal
This is peanuts compared to what I can now steal

Even a minister of finance is but a small potato
Now that I own the premiership and most of great UMNO
To those who are rude to me, I will protect them with ISA
A long holiday in Kamunting will make them semua-nya OK!
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written by GeoGeo, October 16, 2008 12:31:20
Najib, better get a flight to UK now. Salman Rushdie will coach you how to avoid the Iranian hitmen. You and Fat mama adverse religious practice is aganst your up-bringing (if any) Your own Umno so-called religious idiots won't have the guts to do a hit on you. So better learn from the expert Rushdie b4 the Iranians get you. Alternatively, get Botak to put you & mama under ISA for Protection. I shall pray for you when you are taken in. Remember , I'm your friend DPM.
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written by AuntyG, October 16, 2008 12:34:03
haha, Najis damm the nasi kangkang makan till he bodoh, Roastma damm Guruji for missing in action,
Guruji damm the crossing of the Ocean for breaking his powers, Shaftee damm Alexander Bell for
inventing the damm telephone, and damm the telcos for providing the bloooodi dammm ass-amm-ass
service. What a dammmm vicious circle. Remember, what goes round will come AROUND- oh vicious circle!
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written by cruzeiro, October 16, 2008 12:37:03
Nice piece ....
But who's the author?
Deep Throat?
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written by SocratesI, October 16, 2008 12:50:39

Surely this qualifies Najis Rosak and Ros-p*k*-mah as APOSTATES of Islam, right ?? Don't they stone them to death ?? Bodohwi can't be that Bodoh if he can fool Maha-Shithead ... he is a wily one, and not to be taken for granted !

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written by ahmadneil, October 16, 2008 13:19:27
Nice,Paris..7am,16 oct..sorry for not updating last nite.I went out to meet a guy who is operating a beautiful resort in Nice.But before I brief you what happen in nice,I have to tell you about yesterday 2 pm appointment with Mr.Francis Evion,the guy who works at Charles de Gaulle airport.He told me precisely what I want to hear.He said'I have check with the first class lounge staff and it seems everyone there knows Altantuya'.He goes on to say'She usually is very well dressed and polite and at quite a number of times she is seen with a guy wearing a spectacle followed closely by a few more friends'.'Looking at the way the guys dress,I have no doubt that they are men who hold high position',said Francis who was told by his friends.Francis gave me some documents and photos of the first class lounge and left in a hurry to catch a train back to work.He assured me that he will furnished me with more documents and information in the coming days.Before I bade him goodbye, he disappeared into the subway crowd.Will catch up with him!
So back to Nice....continue..(if too long will be chuck out by MT)
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written by GeoGeo, October 16, 2008 13:32:02
WOW, Ahmadneil, RPK in the making.

Thanks bro.
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written by ahmadneil, October 16, 2008 13:36:45
Nice is a beautiful seaside resort and I was introduced to a kind gentleman by the name of George.After showing him the photos of Altantuya and her few friends,he immediately point out to me that Altantuya did stay here twice with a gentleman who introduce himself as her boyfriend.George can't remember his name clearly but he did hear him say he is from Malaysia,quite a well built man who wear a pair of spectacle and bald.Our conversation continue but stop when I told him we must have some food.So we retire to a quiet corner with a beautiful view and George told me that Altantuya loves this particular place .She use to sit here for hour while her boyfriend usually have lots of meeting with French businessman.Sometimes Altantuya will join in the conversation becos Altantuya speaks very good French.George later found out from the French bodyguard that these businessman are from the French military who are involve in the negotiation for the sales of 'underwater boats'.We have a long conversation but due to some matters that George have to attend to,I have to let him go and he will join me for dinner tonite.SoI was left with my good friend and my personal guide.We check into the resort and have a rest before we will go for a swim in the sea.C u all guys.
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written by Jit Dharma, October 16, 2008 13:45:39
Please lah! This man is no Hindu, In fact the only deity he
worships is Syaitan.The Occult can be powerful, only in the
short term and so with all the Prayers being said for both
Altantuya( Mongols also have very powerful Ju-Ju,remember
that when they had it going they conquered half the world)
and the Innocent Bro.RPK, must have tripped the Cosmic
forces and caused his secret power plug to be pulled.
Now he is definitely screwed.Bro.RPK will be released
by March.By the Grace of God.All will be well...keep
praying for his good health and mental clarity. I'm
dead serious.Om Shanti. Makkal Sakti!!!
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written by ahmadneil, October 16, 2008 13:45:46
Michael Chick..the negative that you ask about is here already.I will pack it with carefully and later the DHL man will come to my hotel to pick it up.I insured it and registered express so it will god speed to you.Don't release all becos it will cause overload to MT.Ya,thanks for the great picture of Altantuya's boyfriend making offering ,praying that his mentor Racist mahathir will answered to Allah's call to return to hell.God Bless Mick!
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written by Bluechip, October 16, 2008 13:47:17
It just an "ART's" smilies/grin.gif
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written by GeoGeo, October 16, 2008 13:49:02
Ahmanneil, we want more Keep 'em coming.Show your friend the photo of C4 for identification if you can't speak French...he he.Lets nail the B*****d for good.
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written by miwaki, October 16, 2008 13:50:54
What is nasi kangkang ? something smell likes dead fish or dead rat ?
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written by ahmadneil, October 16, 2008 14:07:19
Nice,Paris..7:56 am.Right now as I speak,my breakfast is coming.It's a nice lobsters with salah.I'm also ordering oysters and Bourdoux wines,hoping to follow the footsteps of Altantuya's boyfriend who said eating oysters with wine will delay the menopause.I haven't had menopause yet but just eating to prevent it from happening.My guide is eating with me and he is learning fast with what I came here for.When I switch my PC on, his neck will will be like a giraffe,peeping at my pc screen and asking all sort of questions which at times I find it quite amusing.Now as I'm eating, I'm also posting these comments to MT.Next posting will be after I catch up with George during dinner time.I'm going to the beach where there are plenty of Altantuyas sun bathing.Pretty sight!good day!
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written by told u, October 16, 2008 14:08:40
you want to know wat is nasi kangkang, visit najeep at his residence he wil advice you.
appointment fixed 10pm tonight.najeep wife,AG and Pdrm musang wil be to.
smilies/grin.gif
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written by fairnessforall, October 16, 2008 14:10:53
ahmadneil, do you think its safe for your to send the negatives to Michael Chick via DHL especially since you have gone and announced it here. Knowing the crooks, they can get someone inside to get hold of the parcel addressed to Michael Chick and all will be lost. Please use some other method of delivery as now you have stated DHL openly and even announced the recepient's name, its definely not safe. If immigration records can dissapear, what to say about a parcel.

Please take care.
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written by smalluncle, October 16, 2008 14:31:14
Wait , WAit, WAIt, WAIT! smilies/shocked.gif

I luv this guy to be my NEXT PM.

A guy who practice "multi-religion", "multi-faith" multi whatever FITS WELL IN MULTI_RACIAL Malaysia.

Wonder when is he coming to My Guan-Yin Temple in Malacca to offer some prayer? smilies/grin.gif smilies/cheesy.gif smilies/wink.gif
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written by Argonaut, October 16, 2008 15:01:02
What exactly are you trying to attack?
The Hindu faith?
The social-political conditions that does not permit Najib to profess the religion he truly believes in?
Maybe you want to attack the fact that that he professes to be a Muslim but is actually a Hindu and accuse him of being a hypocrite. I do not feel any anger over that, I only have sympathy.
I believe that Najib may have done wrong with regards to abuse of power and corruption, therefore he should be attacked on those fronts. With regards to faith, I don't see why it is anybody's business. Why some Malaysians are so shocked about the idea of him being Hindu or whatever is surprising. History records Hinduism as the main religion in the Malay Archipelago during the first millennium.
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written by Mee Udang, October 16, 2008 15:24:30
Najeeb, if u practise hindu charm u cannot eat beef laaaa....
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written by aryn, October 16, 2008 16:13:23
Guruji sudah dipatuk oleh cobra. That's from playing too much of a snake charmer!

Careful, someone may be swallowed alive by a python!
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written by ohie, October 16, 2008 16:20:14
after RPK when for his holiday, MT was different..however..now suddenly MT is alive and kicking again..
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written by Warga Tua, October 16, 2008 16:24:51
Even that picture was not doctored and was taken at the ceremony, I don't see anything wrong. We are a multiracial, multireligious country. To take part in another community's festivals or to join in their ceremonies demonstrates the tolerance and goodwill of a leaders. We should be proud of this.
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written by megahyper, October 16, 2008 16:39:58
I swear I try to avoid beef whenever possible......
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written by ibabonma, October 16, 2008 16:56:11
Miwaki,

While the rice is steaming, the woman will squad naked over the pot and cover herself with the sarong; pot and all. All that drips on to the steaming rice are nutrients for the husband… and, that is ‘nasi kankang’. When the husband eat the rice …finish! He cannot even count 1, 2, 3, 4…..!!! See!
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written by Surich, October 16, 2008 18:12:57
written by Argonaut, October 16, 2008 15:01:02
History records Hinduism as the main religion in the Malay Archipelago during the first millennium.


If those believe in Hindu faith are damned, then all the Malays' ancestors are definitely in HELL. so may be Najib is trying to seek the blessing of his ancestors who are in Hindu HELL.
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written by DanDan, October 16, 2008 18:33:27
Ahmadneil, pls watch your back. Like what fairnessforall said, better change your courier service and also not to Michael Chick direct address. Maybe to some other destination. Paying off your insurance is no big deal compared to
RM500 billion available.
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written by ahmadneil, October 16, 2008 19:47:51
Guys,
don't worry.my instinct will guide me.I'm not using my name and it's not addressed to Michael Chick.This is for the real stuff.For the false stuff then ....u know lah! can't say too much.
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written by michael chick, October 16, 2008 20:36:14
Hey AhmadNiel, if need be, just drop it off at the UN Office, and they'll Courier it via Diplomatic Locked Bag to my Office in Bangkok. I'll just pick it up when I get there sometime next month. Pressure of impending WAR is really high here in Phnom Pehn. They troops on both sides of Preah Vheng started shooting at each other again. I just talked to the AWACs. and they've got the Green light to evacuate everyone from Anlong Vheng already. Waiting for the Medivacs to arrive from the US Cruiser just off the coast of Sihanoukville.

About 3 or so died in the shoot-outs today. Contact the FCC (Foreign Correspondence Club at the Phnom Pehn Riverside, if you need help. I should be there tonite for dinner. We're kinda waiting in the wings. The stingers have rolled out, and SHIT!!! Some ass-holes have laid new mines around Preah Vheng temple. I was there to see the last one unhooked. The Thais claim that it's the Cambodians, and vice-versa.

I spent a very Sombre Day day at Tuol Sleng (S21 Death Camp) as well as Cheuong Ek, 15km outside Phnom Pehn. My Translators were being so nice. We still find human bones sticking out of the ground. The number of slaughtered was amazing. We estimate it to be circa 2million. Anyway, more and more Killing Fields are being dug up as we speak. I'll assess the LandMine situation when I get to Siem Reap on Monday.

So if any Malaysian is in the area, just shout....
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written by ahmadneil, October 16, 2008 20:58:38
Mick,Ok read you loud and clear.will take your orders.Go and see the Topic...
'Press statement from Hindraf'.Urgent!Roger!
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written by fdqn, October 16, 2008 21:16:21
Helo Post Master,the picture you posted made me laugh untill I nearly fall off from my chair lah.Hahahahaha smilies/grin.gif smilies/cheesy.gif smilies/cheesy.gif
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written by arazak, October 17, 2008 00:20:54
michael chick,

Bring back some souvernirs from the Russian Market.

Take the boat and not the airplane to Siem Reap. You will see more of the country on the 6 hrs boat ride along the Mekong towards Tonle Sap.

Be carefull, and don't waste your money at Kilometre 14!!!
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written by Limau, October 17, 2008 14:45:06
Dear Postmaster, The word Guruji is a hindi word, if translated,Guru means master, Ji is aword commonly used when addressing others with respect, for example we can say in hindi Postmasterji. So this is not the real name of the Guruji, please find out the real name of this person.
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written by hellboykl, October 18, 2008 01:17:47
hahaha smilies/grin.gif smilies/grin.gif
great pictures,
still the indians backup the UMNO goverment,
only thing is now they are from Kerala - India,
Bet they dont know who broke their Gods statue,
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written by LEYMAR, October 18, 2008 13:14:59
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written by LEYMAR, October 18, 2008 16:19:08
guruji or no guruji, rituals or no rituals, mr.najib GOD will fire HIS lightning up your ass very soon... very soon
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written by Aizad 234, October 19, 2008 02:05:25
Deepavali dh dekat. happy deepavali to all indian malaysian. agaknya PM in waiting? buat open house tak? Boleh mkn capati dan tosai...
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written by Aizad 234, October 19, 2008 02:06:20
kelakar betul gmbr najib kt atas ni.cian dia .ha ha smilies/grin.gif
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written by sueteh, October 20, 2008 14:20:40
Yang sangat berhormat Najib...setiap kali gua tengok muka lu muncul di kaca tv semakin berseri la...mujarab betui la pak guru lu. patut la..si awek tua plus muda kat puteri umno tu..bermimpikan..mu dengan bibir mu yang cukup merah sekali..bak bunga ros..tak pa..la..gua nak tengok sepandai mana Najib bersandiwara..cerekarama live. Hei Najib..jangan bersumpah pakei nama Allah..adakah lu lupa akan kuasa Allah Yang Maha Berkuasa and Agung? Ataupun lu ni rasa lu kebal kah?? You use your religion for outward hypocrisy. Allah melihat hati manusia.
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written by mamak, October 21, 2008 14:42:23
Give up Najis. It not worth it.
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